Michael de Bruin | Senior Staff Auditor, Audit & Assurance
"Listening is not about being silent and waiting for your turn to speak"
'When someone is quiet, it doesn't mean they have nothing to say'
Michael de Bruin, Audit & Assurance
Michael’s statement is clear: ‘true inclusion starts with listening.’ This perspective stems from a deep understanding of the challenges faced by quieter individuals in group dynamics. 'As a quiet person in a group, one can sometimes feel invisible. After all, it’s usually the louder voices that get heard', Michael, Senior Staff Auditor at Deloitte Audit & Assurance explains. 'But that silence can also be a source of deep insights. The problem is that quiet people are often overlooked in settings like meetings or brainstorming sessions, even though they frequently have valuable ideas.
From the Outside In
One of the challenges faced by the more quiet individuals is overcoming certain group dynamics such as the in-groups. For the purpose of inclusion, the concept of in-groups and out-groups provide understanding of the challenge these quiet individuals face. People naturally feel more connected to those already within their ‘circle’, leaving others on the outside. 'For quiet people, it’s challenging to move from an out-group to an in-group”, Michael explains. “This process often happens unconsciously, but its impact is significant. It means not everyone gets heard equally, and some unintentionally feel excluded.'
Michael ties this insight to personal experiences. As a child, Michael moved frequently and had to repeatedly find a place in new groups. These experiences shaped and ultimately inspired Michael to help others find their voice. 'Whether you are a quiet or a loud person, introverted or extroverted, we’re all human, and humans are social creatures; we all want to fit in.'
Listening as a skill
Engaging with quiet individuals starts with one simple but powerful skill: listening. 'Listening is not about being silent and waiting for your turn to speak', Michael emphasises. 'It’s about asking follow-up questions, showing empathy, and genuinely trying to understand someone. It means being patient and realising that not everyone reveals their full set of thoughts immediately.'
Michael gained these insights while studying Business Administration and while working in sales. 'There, we focused heavily on developing good listening skills. I learned that these skills are not only valuable for strengthening client relationships and improving team collaboration, but can also greatly help promote inclusion and wellbeing', Michael explains.
By listening to the quiet individuals, we can learn about the valuable ideas and insights that normally would not be heard.
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